As erect dick of a girthy, old gent at haven spa (2912 W Montrose Ave, 773-588-3304) stretches toward myself like the offering of a firm handshake, i am questioning if this sounds like truly my entire life. It is Sunday afternoon and end of a long week-end of raunch that I swear begun innocently sufficient.
a€? it is the label line for Pinque Pony (Donny’s Skybox, 1616 N Wells St; Fri 21 at pm), a-sharp latest design revue starring comedian Andy Eninger (whose build we familiar with drool at XSport Fitness) and John Loos, his much younger and equally hot date. The tv series is actually whip-smart in deal with Grindr, threesomes and consistent fantasies, and titillating enough that unexpectedly the night time feels ripe with probability.
We end in Lakeview in which I’ve been tipped down that a Boystown pub possess started hosting a a€?gentleman’s social houra€? every saturday night after latest phone call. According to research by the bartender, who’s ominously slicing into a great large cucumber while talking me personally up, it really is an invite-only celebration for which doors become closed, bulbs include lower, t-shirts or shorts must come-off plus the purchase of booze are purely verboten (although complimentary Colt 45s were given out to help relieve the strain).
Sure-enough, since witching hr nears and also the clueless people distribute in to the night, in-the-know bunches of men within twenties and thirties fill the joint. T-shirts and jeans begin landing on to the ground in piles that resemble clumps of autumn dried leaves, and that I’m surprised observe a handful of guys abandoning their particular sartorial senses for full-on nakedness. A device pumps out thicker puffs of fog giving the space a chalky heaviness similar to the Dagobah System, so there’s adequate alcohol rattling around in my head that i am lured to make some lascivious iliar faces are numerous and my pejunkle recoils like a home cat terrified at the sounds of a whirring machine.
From the tuesday evening that kicks off my personal dirty homosexual weekend, my personal curiosity is actually initially piqued by a press release that reads, a€?Dominant homosexual muscle couples seeks submissive sketch comedy audience
As an alternative, I allow two company to speak myself into a 4am travels across the street to Steamworks (3246 letter Halsted St), Boystown’s ebullient bathhouse. After checking a€?seeing my pals nakeda€? off my personal to-do checklist, I roam by yourself through the second-floor’s labyrinth of doors and mirrors, which never ever doesn’t remind myself associated with the beginning series of Godard’s Alphaville. We stick to a handsome gent into the roof, that I Gainesville FL live escort reviews understand are a smoking lounge (photo the burnouts at the twelfth grade, in white bath towels). The chap I’m chasing lights up a fag and ignores me personally.
At Jackhammer (6406 N Clark St), a classic, unclothed Asian guy (who is an installation regarding gay world and apparently some kind of judge) is twirling around dollar nude in the primary pub into the entertainment of onlookers, at some point sitting down near the stage where the go-gos shake it
I smack the steam place and spa alternatively, even though pumicing the night’s filth off my own body into the gang shower curtains determine a spectacled youthful thing relocating. a€?I really don’t hug,a€? the guy informs me. (i assume meaning no keeping handsies while checking out leading Shop together, either). I forget this lame dud of a dude and refer to it as every night.
Determined to possess best fortune on Saturday, I strike the Manhandler Saloon (1948 letter Halsted St, 773-871-3339), a cruise pub saved discreetly in the middle of Lincoln playground. In the front area, there’s homosexual pornography participating and the a€?copa€? exactly who simply recorded his load are unable to apparently get rid of that last little bit of post-coital jizz (I hate that!). I render a beeline for your stable out back once again in which issues run bump (and grind) in night. It’s very early, and in addition to some guy moaning and working his left-hand intensely in one place, there isn’t a lot observe.
I check out the Hole, the ‘hammer’s basement pub and play space, which can be under development rather than very busy. The enforced gown laws is actually leather-based, latex or underwear, and I also’m entertained by two muscle tissue twinks just who keep an eye out of place in her fancy Diesel briefs. To my personal surprise, one among these pulls their cock completely and initiate whizzing exuberantly on the other side. I view in amazement as different boys swarm all of them like bees and sniff and lick their own willing armpits. The nice nut in me personally desires cleanup the mess. Instead, I-go residence and sublimate another were unsuccessful evening with a few Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
We finish on Sunday at haven Sauna, a Korean bathhouse with a cruisy associate. Irrespective of becoming tattered on edges, it’s actually not a bad spot to relax with a steam. Inside the sauna, a dude is now visibly turned on by my position, but We shrug it well.
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